I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize