Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
