My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
