alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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