Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
