hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
