But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
