Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
