I cannot find my penis.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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