In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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