There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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