therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
