im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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