There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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