SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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