Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize