yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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