just come out here and I will go home with you...
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
In other news, I just burned my penis
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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