If that was your dad, he is hot
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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