i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
