I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I intend to get homeless drunk
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
