so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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