hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
