Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
