We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
