guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
