i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize