oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
