I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize