so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
