Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize