Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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