now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
