YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
