I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
