She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
