My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
