Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
