you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
