You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
