Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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