The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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