North Korea, Best Korea!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
