omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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