Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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