Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
