so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
