After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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