WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize