i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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