Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
