For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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