You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
