stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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