he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
