I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
