Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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