if you like me you must not know who I am
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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